I’m a Librarian. Not an Office Max.

Conan The Librarian

Since a marjority of the questions I’ve been asked at work lately range from people wanting a piece of tape to wanting me to unjam a stapler to demanding I provide them with thumb tacks so they can hang up a picture at home,* I’ve decided to remind myself of Library Perks that I have. Because I need a reminder of why I cope with being treated like a vending machine chock full of office supplies.

Perk #1: NO FINES! Not only that I can easily renew my own books as long as there’s no a hold on them. In all honesty? I could renew them anyway but I just cannot and will not renew books to myself if people are waiting for them. It would be bad form.

Perk #2: I can read anything and be judged less.

Don’t get me wrong. You don’t read a bajillion books without irritating someone. So I’ve gotten used to librarians and circulation desk clerks giving me the stink eye for checking out Batman chapter books and X-men easy readers. I experienced it my entire childhood from the time I checked out Star Trek and Star Wars novelizations to graduate school when I checked out picture books.

I still don’t know why the bulk of what I read annoys others. I just know it does. But I’ve discovered the if you so much as indicate you are a Youth Services Librarian? It is magically, amazingly acceptable for you to read copious amounts of children’s books. Or romance novels. Or Incredible Hulk graphic novels. Or any of what you were reading before someone knew you were a librarian. Huzzah!

Perk #3: Getting paid to ramble on and on about books I loved and would have rambled on about anyway. I may get asked about staples more than I do anything else, but eventually someone will want a book and then I am happy. Especially if it’s a reluctant reader regardless of their age.

Perk #4: The work involves things I love. I may not get to read books the entire time I’m at work, but I am surrounded by books, ordering books, and taking care of books. And I have this thing where I love dusting bookshelves.

Perk #5: Getting paid to watch anime and movies. No one else is going to pay me to watch my favorite anime movies and television shows on a weekly or regular basis.

There’s probably plenty of other perks but it looks like a patron needs a ruler and a calculator so that’s all for now.

* Seriously. What is up with that?


About April

I'm a librarian, reader, and writer whose main goal in life is to be able to swim in books the way Scrooge McDuck swims in money. Although my reading choices will always be wildly eclectic and I never plan on leaving any genre unexplored, my favorite reads tend to be Fantasy, Young Adult, Science Fiction, Gay Romance, or Historical Fiction. You can e-mail me at inspector[dot]librarian[at]gmail[dot]com.
This entry was posted in Librarian's Lament, Library Perks. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to I’m a Librarian. Not an Office Max.

  1. shelleyrae@ Book'd Out says:

    I love my librarian s- even if they are convinced I am a bit odd. I only ask for books though – never thumbtacks LOl

  2. I really ought to have tried to become a librarian or at the very least, a professional student so I’d have a viable reason for spending my life hanging out in them talking to people there. It sounds like heaven interrupted with tedium. 😉

    My librarians here are 60 – if not older and most definitely are the Library Content Moderators. Seriously – they were the first place in town to have a copy machine and everyone was afraid to ask to use it because no one wanted to brave them.

    • “It sounds like heaven interrupted with tedium.” LOL that is a perfect description!

      Ugh that’s always rough. And I’ve been there. I felt that way about the library I volunteered at in grad school. They seemed to hate letting books go out and they glared at me because I took out more than one book at a time every time I dropped by. You’d think they’d like the circ stats but no. Not really.

  3. Jen Moore says:

    I am so looking forward to being able to check out the whole of Preacher without getting looked at like I’m some kind of psychopathic scum. (It is totally not my fault that that was the first thing I was reading when I moved here, and thus my first introduction to the librarians. Not my fault!)

  4. Pingback: I’m a Librarian. Not Anything Else. | CSI: Librarian

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